Being sick and not able to do regular things can be depressing. Especially you have nothing to do but stay in bed.
Enough of feeling helpless and let the sunshine in!
No more drama
Its because when you are in pain you become angry at the people closest to you for not feeling the same pain. They can not exactly feel what you are going through. And will not because you do not share the same body and soul. In absolute reality there is nothing that they can do. Being sick is a personal struggle that one has to endure alone.
However, emotional support from the peolpe closest to you is crucial to keep the spirit alive and hopeful to live.
Its because i need someone whom I feel safe to grow old with.
Not just someone to have fun and abandons me at my weakest.
Today I had my first complete breast care examination.
Since my grandmother died of breast cancer 23 years ago I have been paranoid on getting terminal illness. It was a time that the whole family were giving so much time to take care of my grandmother and during that time I did not fully understand why.
Breast cancer took my grandmother away.
Breast cancer took my mother away.
I have fear of going thru the same as they did.
Today my fears were calmed. I had my first breast care examination.
Mammogram was not really as painful as I thought. I was imagining it as more painful. Actually it was tolerable.
Actually thank God for mammogram.
Because if the examination would only be based on the breast sonogram and elastosy (?). I would have been masectomized leaving me with me nothing.
What they saw was benign.
Which I think is good.
Actually I still need to see a doctor tomorrow to know the whole story and be officially cleared.
But hey its benign and it sounds ok for me.